Do you ever catch yourself mentally going over events over and over again that you wish you'd handled differently?
Nobody likes to make mistakes. But as the age-old saying goes: "to err is human". Mistake happens in every relationship, starting from mother to a friend.
Unless, you want to live as a recluse all through your life, you are bound to make mistakes almost every other day. Some can be small trifling errors and some can be unpardonable blunders. But they'll come to you for sure. While you can't do away with them completely, you can surely minimize them and learn from them.
If you learn from mistakes correctly, they can propel you forward in the right direction. Here's how you should do that:
1. Apologize sincerely:
If your mistake has been a source of grief or harm to the people (directly or indirectly), it's important to offer a dignified apology. You must clarify that it was an unfortunate incident and you will take care that it is not repeated. If you refrain from apologizing, out of embarrassment or reluctance, the offended person will continue to hold it against you. This may also make a dent in your trustworthiness and your overall image.
If your apology is sincere, the other person is likely to forgive you. Don't go overboard with it. Apologize once, but sincerely. A good apology can help in restoring other people's trust in you.
2. Don't be a perfectionist:
Come to terms to this reality that it is impossible for us to be perfectionists. If you spend your life being scared of making mistakes, you'll hardly be able to do anything in life. Mistakes are often not made, they just happen to people. If you think that you have to steer away from mistakes all through your life, you'll be imposing psychological restrictions on yourself.
Consider getting expert assistance if you're finding it difficult to let go after failing at something.
3. Don't waste time trying to justify your actions:
It is our natural disposition to keep justifying our actions. Many times, we blame others for the mistake. More often than not, we justify mistakes to massage our fragile egos. Others aren't really interested in our justifications. There's no harm in accepting your faults and apologizing and then moving on.
Related: How To Let Go Of Your Emotional Baggage?
At the end
Mistakes are an essential part of self-improvement. Don't be overwhelmed with guilt and remorse, rather you should analyze how you can learn from them and be a better human being. Mistakes give us opportunities to learn, grab them!
You can help yourself take some of your reactions less seriously by recognizing their intensity.